Becoming More Visible (& How To Cope With What That Creates)
Stepping Into Visibility: The Courage to Own Your Worth
One of the most profound truths we explore in our coaching sessions is this: the moment we seek to become more visible, we invite both recognition and resistance. For many of us, stepping into our power - owning our ideas, our presence, and our worth - feels exhilarating and terrifying in equal measure.
During a recent group coaching session, we explored this very theme: how do we hold our ground when stepping forward makes us feel vulnerable?
The Seesaw of Self-Worth
We began with an essential reminder: when we step into visibility, we often find ourselves teetering between two extremes, shrinking back into self-doubt or overcompensating with perfectionism and control. Both responses take us off balance, draining our energy and pulling us away from our core truth.
The goal is not to find balance between these two reactions but rather to step off the seesaw entirely and stand in our center - the zero zone - where we are neither “less than” nor “more than.”
When we move from this place of centered self-worth, we can engage with the world without seeking external validation. Our confidence no longer depends on others’ approval, nor is it shattered by their criticism.
The Challenge of Being Seen
As we explored in our session, the biggest challenges often come not from strangers but from within our own circles—those we thought would support us. Feminine betrayal, when other women fail to acknowledge our work or even claim it as their own, can cut the deepest.
One powerful story shared in our session illustrated this truth: a coach discovered that a former colleague had taken her intellectual property and was presenting it as their own. At first, this revelation triggered deep feelings of betrayal and self-doubt: old wounds resurfacing with the familiar whispers of “I must have done something wrong.”
But here’s where the transformation happened: instead of reacting from anger or victimhood, she chose to process the pain, acknowledge her emotions, and re-center herself. Only from this place of grounded power did she take - clear boundaries, addressing the situation with grace, and reaffirming her own worth.
Calling In, Not Calling Out
A key takeaway from our session was the distinction between calling out and calling in. When someone crosses a boundary, whether they undermine, dismiss, or appropriate our work, the instinct to “call them out” from a place of anger is strong. But real leadership comes from calling people in, engaging them in a way that fosters accountability rather than shame.
This approach is not about ignoring wrongdoing. It’s about responding from a place of power, not reactivity. It’s about holding people accountable while staying true to who we are.
The Power of Grace
One of our participants beautifully captured the essence of this work: When you reclaim your self-worth, you stand in grace. True visibility isn’t about proving yourself. It’s about allowing your presence to be fully seen, without apology.
So how do we actually integrate this work into our daily lives? Here are some practical strategies:
Recognise When You’re Off Balance – When you feel yourself shrinking or overcompensating, take a breath and remind yourself to step off the seesaw. Pause before reacting.
Create a Self-Worth Anchor – Have a phrase, image, or practice that reminds you of your intrinsic value. It could be a mantra like “I am enough” or a grounding exercise like a deep breath or a walk in nature.
Embody Your Confidence – Confidence is not just a mindset; it’s a practice. Stand tall, speak clearly, and take up space—your ideas and contributions deserve to be heard.
Set Clear Boundaries – When someone crosses a boundary, address it from a place of strength, not fear or anger. Call people in rather than calling them out.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People – Visibility is easier when you have a strong support system. Seek out mentors, coaches, and allies who uplift and affirm you.
Facing the Fear of Criticism
Becoming more visible means we will face criticism. It’s inevitable. The higher we rise, the more we are noticed, and not everyone will cheer us on. The key is to separate constructive feedback from destructive criticism.
Constructive feedback comes from those who respect us and want to see us grow. Destructive criticism, on the other hand, is often rooted in someone else’s insecurities. The best response? Stay anchored in your truth. Acknowledge what is useful, discard what is not, and keep moving forward.
Owning Your Work Without Apology
Many women struggle with owning their expertise. We’ve been conditioned to downplay our accomplishments, to share credit even when we did the heavy lifting, or to hesitate before claiming our brilliance. But true leadership requires us to stand in our worth.
If you’ve created something meaningful, an idea, a program, a piece of writing, own it. If someone else borrows or builds upon it, they should give credit. And if they don’t? You have every right to name your work and assert its origins.
This isn’t about ego. It’s about integrity and legacy. When we give credit where it’s due, we contribute to a culture of honesty and respect.
The Invitation: Stand in Your Power
As you reflect on your own journey, ask yourself:
Where am I still seeking permission to be seen?
How can I hold my boundaries with strength and grace?
What does it mean for me to step off the seesaw and into my power?
We are here to support you in that journey. Your voice matters. Your presence matters. And the world needs what only you can bring.